The world is evolving and with the rate at which Nigerians and Africans actually, get westernised negatively, the folding of the earth like a mat which the Holy Bible talks about in the book of Revelation, may begin with Nigeria. If only development would take place at such speed as evil does in Nigeria, we will overtake countries like America, United Kingdom, France etc, in no distant time.
Sadly, appalling narratives that were synonymous with developed countries of the world are trending right here and no one seems to have a solution to the problem. I was listening to a woman on the radio yesterday morning, who spoke eloquently concerning the level of moral decay in the society and she said “This is a degenerating generation…” But I want to maintain here that this is already a degenerated generation. The level of moral decadence has gone beyond an alarming stage. Our society lacks role models and our children with the aid of social media, are emulating western celebrities; the Kardashans, Rihannas, Lady Gagas, Beyounce, etc, some of whom have sold their souls to Satan.
What do we do with baby mama? This trend looks like it has come to stay. Oh! Did I hear you say it’s nobody’s problem? Or, it’s an individual’s choice?
Well, believe it or not, this is a fall-out of the erosion of our values. Take a look back at the 70s and 80s; how were girls who had children outside wedlock treated? Like outcast of course; even worse than outcasts because in addition to losing their dignity, they smeared the name of their families in the mud. They hardly ever get married especially to young men particularly in Igboland. They were regarded as tokunbo, second hand. But things have completely changed now. It looks like baby-mamaring is the reigning business for young ladies who do not buy the idea of going into full-time prostitution. The craze for big cars, apartments and lush lifestyles are robbing our girls of their sense of value, while the young men especially the Nigerian celebrities are busy creating future problems for themselves by sleeping with any opposite sex that catches their fancy, all because they feel they are loaded with cash. Imagine young celebrities such as Tu Face Idibia, Wizkids etc, having more than 3 children from different women; yet some of our children see them as role models.
Baby-mamaring which came to the open in Nigeria with desperate ladies trying to hook celebrities with pregnancies, has spread beyond the showbiz world like wild fire, with mainly the rich being the target.
I attended an art event here in Lagos and was stunned when a young girl whom I was meeting for the first time, stormed the hall like the kind of people we called ‘notice me or I die’ back in the days when we were in secondary school. Our host greeted her and asked what she was doing in the midst of journalists and her reply shocked life into us, to say the least. And like grains of corn popping in the hot frying pan, this young girl narrated in a flash, how she is baby-mamaring and is taking up extra jobs to cater for her baby. There was awed silence. She spoke so proudly about her status that we noticed the disappointment written all over our host who quickly called her aside to continue her tale; but the bean had been spilled already in such an unfortunate manner. You need to hear the conversation among my male colleagues, after she left. I deciphered more than others did; I guess so actually, from her story. First, she had the child for the ‘wrong guy’; otherwise, she shouldn’t be hustling to cater for her baby. Secondly, she exhibited character trait of a child brought up by a parent or parents that were carefree.
Let’s not be quick to condemn those statements; I mean, there are so many reasons why a young girl can turn to a baby-mama. For some of those reasons, the girl may not be blamed. I’ll share this story. I know of a lady of about 40 years old who had a suitor but didn’t fancy the guy and so rejected his marriage proposal. The man kept pestering her and with the advice of family members who thought she should manage the guy and settle down, she later gave in. The man came with wine for introduction and before anyone could say Jack Robinson, she became pregnant. To cut the long story short, she has given birth to a baby boy but alas, the bomb; the man refused to go further with the rest of marriage rites. Bothered by the man’s sudden lack of interest in concluding the marriage rites, the family of the girl decided to investigate him. They discussed he already had a family. The man was confronted and he confessed to be ‘happily’ married with five children.
There are so many lessons to be learnt from the above tale but the thing is, this man only wanted a baby-mama; for whatever reasons, and the girl fell into the trap. And speaking of reasons, it has been discovered that some men who are emulating top Nigerian celebrities to turn some of these young girls into baby-mamas, do so not for love or even lust but when their wives failed to conceive and or when they needed male children which their wives were unable to give birth to. This takes us to the question of whether baby mama is a threat to the marriage institution. Do we really need anyone to provide an answer to that question? I know some women will lash out at me for my position on this subject; all I have to say to such women is that if we should encourage the trend which is fast becoming an institution, a time will come when they will completely lose their husbands to baby mamas. Try some men; they will eventually dedicate their time and money more to the baby mamas who are much younger.
I keep saying this, parents especially mothers have failed. It’s high time we went back to the drawing board as they say in football. Where did we get it wrong? We need to start from the scratch to begin instilling sound morals into our children; both boys and girls. Remember the Holy Bible advises us to train our children in the way they should go for when they are old; they will not depart from it.
But then again, there’s huge problem; you cannot give what you don’t have. It might interest you to know that some mothers are so rotten that they even connive with their daughters to become baby-mamas for the rich? Also, out of craze for material satisfaction, some mothers go as far as shamelessly sharing lovers with their daughters.
Things are out of hand already but it is never too late for us to begin the process of change. Baby mama must not be allowed to continue otherwise, the evil that will spring from it will be worse than the deadliest hydra-headed monster.